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Thursday, December 25, 2008
Stepped on Shit.
3:57 PM Gave up on Jteam and interest to do with the media and having my face caught on Tv. After so long , they called and yeah sent me for another audition . Just yesterday I had the worst Christmas eve ever in my life. Got chosen for this short scene of the show ' Yi Qie Wan Mei 2 ' . The truth is I'm not the least happy at all cause I sacrifice my working hours and rush here and there. The needed someone to fit in the childhood times of this character played by 'Li Jian Han' * yeah who the hell knows him * Well , The everything went so very smoothly and it was fun experience . - After The Shoot - I called Jteam's Jolene and she gave me a big thrashing . why? MY HAIR. yes! she wanted my hair to be black but i was like huh? a little troublesome leh. then I sent her my photo via MMS and had a 3G conference with her. She said , ' Your hair not very brown mah , ok la! ' and I reminded her time after time that my hair is blond. Fine , i apologised like fuck though it was really my fault and she still put up that fucked-up vagina attitude . Cheeze to her man! Next I text her regarding the pay and stuff cause being a first -timer what's wrong about enquiring stuffs? Then she called and she screw me hard again! saying that She is having her Christmas dinner and why must I disturb her. Fullstop , If she thinks she so much of a big pussy then she should just go find a pumpkin and shove it up her saggy thingo. ---------------------------- * If any think that this is me trying to act Emo, I suggest you never return to my blog . I don't need to be Emo to want sympathy cause I need nothing of such. * That was the first thing that spoiled my mood. I'm not gonna mention names on the next topic. It was by chance we met by fate we became friends and It was by trust we kept it alive. Now , It isn't gonna' be the same again. you left me ringing & ringing your cell . when the clock struck 11.59 I was praying you would call and probably make me day . I was wrong. You wanted time off , you needed time alone you wanted to think things through. I say , It's just a silent way to close this friendship. I'm really in a devastating mood now. I feel like crying but tears just don't fall , I wanted to smile but my lips just isn't listening . All I can think of is to trust in the art of the blade again. I've lost my everything in dreaming of being someone on Tv , I've lost the only way to do Mr Chiam proud , I've lost my own thinking , I've lost friends after friends. I wish my brother and I to be closer but God defies my prayers now , I've lost you and I think enough is enough. I need physical pain to remove this emotional pain in me . you left without a trace without a word without a text. You disappeared after no receiving any messages from you It's not that i don't trust you but things shown forbids my trust to rest in your actions . I don't wanna live I hate Christmas and I hate new year. If by people wishing me Happy new year , my 'new year' wouldn't be so happy I rather they keep their wishes to themselves. I'm not alone I know But , knowing isn't enough to convince this mental conscious of mine. I'm not feeling all so fucked-up because of your departure but , I can't handle tons of blows at me without notice. I'm lost , I'm sad , I'm depressed. Give me time to snap out of it. I will be myself soon. P/S : This pain is no longer bearable ---------------------------- There are many things on my mind now . I can't be completely ok immediately meanwhile the fake mask of mine will play the fake me . Merry X'mas , . My loved one , friends , readers. Labels: I will cut myself tonight
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