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Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Speechlessly pissed
10:37 PM Went for a casual audition with cousin Michelle at Jteam. Person who interviewed me said " You're handsome , you have the looks but , I'll just have to do some fine tuning " Was quite encouraged and assured that they aren't out to scam people cause they make sure you bring along a family member before they brief you about anything. Sadly , it was towards the end I was told that a one-time agency fee had to be paid , so i was like "SHIT!" It's $399 and , honestly it's relatively fair cause it includes your photo shoot/port folio . Had a good chat with Cousin Michelle , things were resolved and I was actually happy that she actually supported/support me in my interest. She and I both know our typical parents those sickly over-protective folks , offered to loan money for me but, i kinda' rejected cause it's not really proper . Pinned my hopes on my parents hoping that they would finally start realising what i really want .As usual , down with all sorts of fucked up shit! c'mon they're my fucking parents and them saying such demoralising stuffs i swear I'm hurt , literally!Fucked-up Pessimistic thinking of them ! Can't help sometimes being really negative.Why am i taking the rap of my brother's fall ,just because he turned from a obedient kid to some silent-rebellious kid .I bet it was because of my parents stupid traditional thinking .Fuck it, I'm sick of it i swear! Acting , seeking attention and being someone has always been my dream/interest. They keep condemning my interest and even when i finally came up with a target and course to achieve for my O'levels , they drenched me down even more! Keeping that away for now because i have to much to say. Got back my results , 58.1% for Amath , 82.5% for Emath and an [A] for my Design&Technology . The rest are yet to be released. I was utterly disappointed in someone I confided to before and regarded and a close pal. Today i hopped over and peeped then asked how much he had gotten , "Don't bother looking , i got higher than you" was the reply. I flared up instantly but, I was so much more disappointed then angry. People have been telling me and asking why is he like that?so arrogant , then you still wanna' befriend him? I stood by his side and spoke up for him saying he's actually opening up ,trying to make friends. Honestly , so what you apologised? so what your results are great ? take a look at yourself , materials are nothing compared to character.He could even say such a thing to me , someone who stood by him and befriended him despite knowing that stupid character of his.Care imagining what's next? Whatever it is , i will just stay as acquaintance with him from now on .Take it or leave it.Mind you, this wasn't the first-time I got so pissed at your arrogance .Astonished? remember that fateful Amath extra lesson where it was held in the foyer? "Teacher, why teach this one , SO EASY!" Like excuse me ? you may be smart but not everyone is as academically inclined as you. Though it's just a month away , Change it or forget about being my friend ever again. Being my friend is no big deal but then again , I wont get so agitated if i fucking don;t regard you as a friend worthy to worry for . Labels: Screw your pessimism
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